Merry Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas! This season finds us anticipating all the excitement of Christmas happenings while reflecting upon Jesus, As I sit down to write this letter I am reminded that many can relate to having a life experience which marks time for them. An event so significant that it so alters your expectations of life, it’s meaning and purpose.

Most of you know of our family story. We are six years post accident and our lives are yet in another new stage in the “rhythm of living.” It does me good to reflect; to be reminded of God’s power in the life of our family and to be grateful for each other. Each stage held it’s own fears and uncertainties. I am also reminded and greatly appreciative of your love, prayers and support along our journey. I’m thankful Gerry has advanced through the various levels of traumatic brain injury and the power that God has displayed despite the grim prognosis he initially received:
1. Deep coma/unresponsive – crisis, yet with only 10% chance, he lived!
2. Reflexive non/purposeful movement- acute care; no operations needed!
3. Confused/agitated/aggressive- long term care; he steadily learned all over again, how to swallow, walk, speak!
4. Inappropriate behavior/no relationship with space and time; we moved to the country with a fenced in yard so he couldn’t escape and he learned our names!
5. Long term memory returning/difficulty with complex commands, orientation impaired, needs queuing to function – effective therapy provided and I was able to stay home and execute the rigorous daily programs proving successfully!
6. Independent tasks of daily living returns/general confusion and anger eruptions – my nursing days are over!
7 Learns new skills but slowly, short term memory impaired, repeats phrases, judgment and problem solving severely compromised; the wildest optimistic predictions never anticipated he’d get here!
8. We are currently in the 8th level: Purposeful & Mostly Appropriate- wherein a person is able to function within the community with unique impairments in cognition, social and emotional challenges.
The Department of Rehabilitation has closed his file with the determination that he is “officially unemployable.” His counselor prolonged the assessment period because she was so impressed with his determination and desire. She states his disabilities emphatically prevent him from being a good risk for retraining within the Paid Work Sector. She recommends he seek work at the volunteer level. Unfortunately, my numerous attempts have been unsuccessful. Many volunteer agencies involve a fragile population such as the elderly, children, infirmed etc. Most agencies are reluctant to take the legal liability risk since he continues to have periodic anger outbursts and logical confusion.

So where is he now? Interestingly, the part of Gerry’s brain injured involves his capacity to acknowledge or accept his disability. While he realizes he has been “told he was in an accident,” and acknowledges he isn’t doing what he used to do, he cannot make the logical leap. He has an unhealthy acceptance of his TBI. Consequently, he has unrealistic expectations for the future. He is impaired in goal setting, in causation/results scenarios and motivation.

Gerry continues to play his guitar at a rest home on a bi-weekly basis. I’m praying for opportunities wherein he can shadow others who already volunteer somewhere-- anywhere. He joined a chess club this last year. While the “chess part” of the brain seems unaffected by the injury he plays with his old skills. It is however difficult to learn new strategies. Nonetheless, he recently won 2nd place in a tournament. Three mornings a week a bus picks him up and he goes for lunch at the Senior Center. He regularly sits at a table with Spanish speakers as he attempts to communicate and practice his Spanish language skills. I’m always on the lookout for other activities to simulate him. Otherwise, I must admit the TV becomes too convenient!

Anessa graduated high school last June. Following a missions trip to the Czech Republic over the summer she enrolled at Paul Mitchell Cosmetology School here in Temecula. Anessa delights in all she is learning and her days fly by. Studious at nighttime, she is busting the myth that Cosmetology school is the easy way out. She is often up late studying applied chemistry and Anatomy! With anticipation, each day we glance to see what new and ever changing style she brings home! She also works as a server at the Senior Living Community and regularly babysits. Sleep is often evasive as she juggles a very full schedule! Ah to be young again and full of energy!

Polina is a sophomore in high school and participates in a Middle Ages History/Composition/Fine Arts co-op program. Her mastery of the English language has so improved that she participates in Bewoulf, Shakespeare and other classic Socratic Circles. I continue to marvel how quickly and effectively she manages our complex English language! She also keeps up on her Russian studies through the Rosetta Stone program. I was a little reluctant to introduce a teenager who had never played an organized sport before to recreational-soccer. However, she quickly took to the game and so enjoyed her opportunity that she desires to play again this spring.

Tatiana is in the 7th grade and tremendously enjoys soccer. Her team was undefeated this season, so to her delight her season extended to tournament play. Mom enjoys her role as cheerleader for both girls on our Soccer Saturdays. Tatiana participates in the Masters’ Club, which provides opportunity for the fun activities involving our studies in Ancient History, composers, and the master artists. Tanya delights in measuring up to me and demonstrating how tall she is and rubs in how short I am. She is convinced I’m shrinking! I wish I was shrinking horizontally instead of vertically!


I am blessed to have three lovely teenage girls. As Gerry is able to catch the bus by himself, this is the first year I have attempted to juggle educational cooperatives outside the home. I am teaching Composition and Geography for Polina’s co-op and coordinate activities for Tanya’s as well. Besides daily schooling with the girls, Gerry’s activities, and managing home affairs, I have been fortunate to work very part time as a church secretary for Providence Church, mostly as it pertains to the weekly bulletin.

People always inquire as to how we are making it. Basically, we have been surviving off of monies from Disability, Victims of Crime and a Church Fund with gifts from faithful friends and family. Soon the Victim of Crimes fund will exhaust and those monies in the Church Fund are rapidly depleting. In these difficult financial times, many faithful supporters are also hurting. Despite the financial challenges ahead, I am prayerfully anticipating the next stage God has for our family. Please pray with me in this regard. Like so many of the stages before me, there are fears and uncertainties. Yet I look back at the various stages mentioned above, I see God’s providential hand and how he has brought us further than ever expected! Gladly, I affirm I am able to rest in God’s timely provision and goodness. When situations seem impossible, God has been faithful!

There is an event; an event even more significant than our family’s story. This event so altered my expectation of life, it’s meaning and purpose – it is the very event we celebrate this season ---the Incarnation of Christ, His perfect life and His subsequent Resurrection. The reality that Jesus already did what he came to earth to do— rescued his people from sin is my constant! This reality has so re-oriented my focus that while I continue to face uncertain and confusing life stages, I am assured the reality of God’s love and the Hope of Heaven to Come.


May you all experience the life altering reality of Jesus!

Merry Christmas.

Laura Marinucci for all